“Bones” Gives Us a Merry Christmas

Tuesday night’s episode started out with us with seeing two mall elves going behind the mall for a smoke break. And even if you’re a Christmas elf and have to deal with sugar-fueled kids all day, there’s still not a lot more horrifying than discovering a dead body. Which, that’s what happened, cause let’s face it - there’s always a dead body on this show. In fact, I challenge the people of Bones to make a show without any dead bodies!

Until then, I’ll just keep reviewing and recapping…

We then saw Brennan visiting her father, who is in jail (he’s all evil, but not really evil - do you follow? Yea…) The relationship between them is very bittersweet. There is such a longing there, from both sides. They still managed to find some quality time, albeit in a monitored facility.

When Brennan (also called “Bones”) got into the car with her partner, Booth, he commented, “You’ve got that sad little girl look.” This shows progress in their relationship as partners, friends, and possibly more (oooh) - because previously, she would have snapped at him for picking up at how vulnerable she was. She might have felt he was mocking her. Instead, I think she was maybe glad that he could recognize her feelings without her having to explain them.

At one point, Booth said, “Murderers and thieves, they get Christmas too, it’s kinda the point.” Booth is a character that is a Christian, with a very Christian viewpoint - and it shows. And even if you’re not a Christian, that’s not a bad viewpoint to adopt for Christmas/the holiday season. It was a nice interjection in a show that can otherwise be rather gory at times. Bones has to use humor in order to not make the show something it’s not - a gruesome, depressing, hour-long sulk fest.
Speaking of gory - the dead body that was found was a dead Santa Claus in a sewer. Which was not a nice sight. Or site. Is that a pun? I’m not good at puns.

Booth summed up half of the entire episode in one sentence, “Three days before Christmas and somebody kills Santa.”

Back at the lab, Addy (Dr. Zak, to you!) tried to argue to logic of how the idea of Santa is impossible, and he can’t believe children are “stupid enough” to believe such a crock. Can you tell he’s not very in touch with his inner-child? His friend, (Dr. Jack) Hodgins was in a good mood and antagonized him with that special Hodgins touch.

Their supervisor, Dr. Camille Saroyan, a.k.a Cam, basically told them to shut up. They have work to do! Just then, Angela appeared with a sketch of the victim - that’s one of the things that she does. Her sketch is accurate enough, it’s of Santa Claus. Hey - has he lost some weight?

In another scene, Booth was talking to Bones, and he referred to her team as “squints,” which is a callback to the pilot episode (among some others). I love shows that keep things up like this.

We discovered that the victim was kicked by a reindeer. Could it be better than that? Well, apparently so. His legal name was “Kris Kringle”, and he lived above a toy shop.

Oh, you want better than that? Well, when Booth and Bones went in to investigate his place, they found that Kris’s apartment was decked out for Christmas, complete with a multitude of lights, and a train set. As Booth said that Parker, his son, would love it there, his own face lit up - showing that he loved it just as much. Even Bones looked pretty amazed.

When they got to investigating, they found that the fridge was stocked with milk and cookies. Just when you’re about to shrug and admit that this guy really was Santa Claus (can you tell I’m being sarcastic?) , Booth found a ’secret compartment’ in one of the drawers.

The secret compartment was so not very secret and I am pretty sure that anyone could have found it - there was a large finger notch that allowed one to pull up the fake bottom of a drawer. At three in the morning, without my glasses, I still could have found this secret compartment. Anyway, that secret hiding place was full of money. ‘Cause the only thing worse than a dead Santa, is a dead, corrupt Santa.

As the episode moved on, Booth argued that Santa would not work at a temp agency. Bones argued, rationally, that his job is seasonal. They seemed to be forgetting that this guy wasn’t really Santa. No, they know that. They’re just - well, it’s written in because it’s funny.

Deciding to be more serious, Bones later told Booth how Santa is simply a myth which is based on the blackmail of children, telling them to be good or they won’t get presents. It is a pretty brilliant ruse. (Is it weird that even though the show, which aired at 8 p.m. EST, already denied that there was a Santa Claus, I still feel bad writing it in case a child reads this?)

In this episode we saw the cuteness that is Booth not understanding Bones, and her being frustrated by that. She went so far as to describe her comments. For example, to paraphrase, she said something like, “It was intended to be a scathing comment”, when Bones did not seem offended by something she said.

It turned out that this Santa did work at a temp agency. Not only that, but this guy was the best - he got the best gigs, the most respect, and probably the best cookies. And while you’d expect to find other Santa’s holding grudges, they all seemed to really have liked him.

Trying to play up the mystical factor, we learned that the only night that Kris wouldn’t work was Christmas Eve. This of course lent to the myth that he was the real Santa Claus. And I sure hope that isn’t true, because I really want the full Gilmore Girls box set of DVDs from Santa! (Gilmore Girls - The Complete Series Collection)

When Hodgins talked in goobly gook, Cam remarked that, “this is why Booth hates talking to you.” But I have to admit, I find it fun to hear the intelligent details of things I don’t fully comprehend. It’s like anytime I was ever in a science class.

Bones had to talk to her father’s lawyer in order to arrange to get one of the conjugal trailers for her family. (No, it’s not what you’re thinking. And your mind is very dirty!) Bones wants to give her father and brother, who are both in jail, some quality time with their family. (Again, nothing dirty.)

The lawyer, Caroline, agreed to help Bones but only if Bones kisses Booth under mistletoe - on the lips, for no less than, “five steamboats.”

It’s blackmail, it’s unethical, and she’s gonna do it!

Her hesitance here only showed how much she likes him. And since we’re three seasons into the show, it’s about time that we get some romantic sparks to be verified.

But first there was more business to take care of. Booth and Hodgins were looking for stuff in a garbage bin. Hodgins was the one who was actually in it. He found several empty wallets. Booth collected them and ran off. It was a comedic moment, but if you blinked you missed it.

Booth is such a good Dad, and you can tell that Parker pulls at his heartstrings. Parker’s Mom was taking Parker away for Christmas, and Booth and Parker were both upset about that. Parker was worried that his Dad would be all alone for Christmas. After Booth lied to spare Parker’s feelings, Bones then mentioned the lies - which I suspect bother her so much because she hated being lied to by her own parents.

We found out that one of the men pickpocketed by Santa had come back to punch Santa. So, we had a suspect, finally. But who has time for suspects when there’s mistletoe?

In a new scene, Bones had hung some mistletoe, and explained to Booth what she’s doing, and ‘why’. Then, doing what we’ve wanted the characters to do since the pilot, they kissed. Bones held onto the front of Booths jacket, pulling him forward. They both enjoyed the kiss and you could tell it. They were flushed, frazzled, awkward, but heated.

This was a nice plot device of getting them to sort of admit their feelings without actually admitting them - letting this story arc streeeetch out. Clever.

It’s no big surprise, but Angela and Hodgins are still a really cute couple. And it may be because I’m from the school of Whedon (as in Joss, as in Master) but with all of this cute-buildup, I predict devastation for them in the future.

Bones and Booth have been having to see a shrink together, and he made an appearance in this episode. And he was in a giant elf hat. They took the time to argue the merits of Christmas and lying. Booth said that deception was good for children in a holiday time. Bones, of course, disagreed.

But then the shrink explained about the nature of the Christmas spirit (I think violins were playing, but maybe just in my head) and the childlike wonder that we fail to retain as we age. Because he explained this all to Bones in a very methodical and logical way, she respected the answer.

In what I believe was a weak point of the plot, Bones said that she, herself, wouldn’t be able to be with her family in the conjugal trailer for Christmas because she has a tradition of going away, and she has tickets for Peru. But, I think you can already guess what happened…

We then learned that a brass bell killed Kris, and Kris was stopping the pickpocket, he wasn’t the thief. By sniffing the backsides of the various Santa’s (no, really) they were able to tell which Santa had rolled around and fought in the same stuff they’d found Kris dead in - yummy.

The other Santa’s sang out a warning song to the defected Santa. “You better watch out…you better not pout…” Uhh…well, who can remember the lyrics, really? Anyway, that storyline is tied up now.
We got a nice group scene of the squints exchanging gifts. (If Booth is going to call them that, then so am I!) Then we saw Bones family gathering in the trailer, and she herself showed up. And she was not the only surprise appearance - Parker showed up to his Dad’s office. He had run away to be with his Dad. In an easy twist of events, Parker’s Mom said that Parker could meet up with her the next day, or something.

One of the things about meeting in the trailer that the family didn’t like was that they weren’t allowed to have a Christmas tree. Booth knows this. He called Bones, and had her look out the window. Across from a fence, Booth and Parker had set up a Christmas tree, full of lights.

This was a sweet gesture that Booth probably would have done anyway, but knowing that Booth and Bone are both semi-aware of the reciprocal romantic feelings they share, it’s made all the more powerful. The symbolism of them being separated, but being able to see each other as they talked on their phones - was kinda, well, just perfect.

Bones is a great holiday gift - either for the established fan, or someone that you just know would love it.