Tyra Banks Ate a Baby in China and I have the Scoop!
Okay, she didn’t. But the original title of this entry was: ANTM Finale: SUCKED!!! - and I didn’t think that would work.
The time is 8:00 as I start to write this. I have a Diet Coke and a few Hersey Kisses. Pushing Daisies is taping in the other room. I am unspoiled for the finale of tonight’s America’s Next Top Model. Three girls are left, who will it be? I honestly am not sure. The judges certainly seem to be favoring one girl (Saleisha), meanwhile - I’m not sure I really like any of them except the one girl who isn’t sure she wants to be there (Jenah).
I am writing this commentary AS I watch it:
Is Saleisha ever not positive? And is Jenah ever not positive? Jenah and Chantal seem like they’re almost trying to guilt Saleisha into feeling bad if she’s not one of the one’s in the bottom two cause she doesn’t want it bad enough.
Cover Girl Wetslicks fruit spritzers is the product they’re showing off - and Jaslene is there to help them for their Cover Girl shoot. Jaslene is wearing her hair pulled back in a tiny pin-bun and it shows how square her face is, and it just looks ridiculous. People of America - I give you our last ‘top model’. lol. 
Chantal looks gorgeous in her ad - she’s wearing a yellow satiny gown. But her words for the ad did not come across very fluid at first. She did better, finally. Then her ego soared and she forgot she was still a mere mortal.
Jenah looks great, but they tell her she needs cue cards to do her ad. She doesn’t want to - she tries hard, and she was awesome when the pressure was ON.
Saleisha is styled as best she can with that horrible hairstyle, but she seems to be forcing herself to speak for the ad. Then she takes a dramatic moment to leave the set and decompress and put her hands on her head to show that her head REALLY hurts! Oh, boy.
Since there’s a commercial I’m going to take this time to mention that I think the prizes for this competition need to be revamped. They don’t seem that great - and the girls that win don’t ever seem to go very far. I may be mistaken, but it seems like a girl does better if she gets into the top three, and doesn’t win. This, of course, feeds into my theory as to why I believe in cycle one, Elyse purposefully made it so she lost first place because she was smart enough to know that if she really wanted to model - she should do it on her own. I don’t think it’s any secret that she has (had?) a livejournal and when I was looking at it she was still modeling, and she seemed to be doing quite well.
Back to the show - Saleisha has fears?! Oh, don’t we all!
Then it’s time for the Cover Girl ad shootings.
At panel, Tyra calls some fashion designers designs ‘like art’ - which is mildly insulting only because I think most (all?) fashion designers view their designs as art.
Saleisha says that Jenah has the least potential because she is rude. Chantal says that Jenah has the least potential because she’s arrogant. Jenah says that Chantal has the least potential because she’s amateur. Ooooh, burn! I think Jenah views Chantal as more of a threat so that’s why she attacked her - and vice-versa.
Tyra tries to tell how much the girls have improved - but did they really improve, or are they just showing us better pictures on purpose?
Man, team Jenah! But she is not going to win… they’re (the panel) being harsh on her.
Okay, emotional breakdown on Jenah’s part - but I think this might help her. Yup - now all of a sudden they love her. This seems so scripted.
Showing a Drew Barrymore CG commercial is sort of just proving the point that the era of models is leaving, and people want actresses to be their models because they know more about them, they have personalities, etc. But of course, since this is a show sponsored by CG, they have to show it.
Even though the judges agree that Chantal IS the most amateur of the girls, they vote her into the final two, first. Wow.
Damn, Saleisha is picked, and Jenah is out. WHAT! Not fair! Recount the votes!
Time for the fashion show. Both girls ‘love each other’ but both want to win…yadda, yadda..same ol’ thing every year! Some people are on stilts, now that would have been a REAL contest!
Chantal looks kind of like a deconstructed Victorian Princess, I like the look she has on first. I don’t seem to like these next outfits coming up. It’s just all a bit too bold for my taste. Chantal’s third outfit I like - the one with a long train. And I like even better that one of the performers tripped on her train. LoL. I mean, I’m not glad that it happened to her, I just think it’s nice to have a bit of drama in the show.
Saleisha almost poked Chantal’s eye out - that was no accident! (Yea, fine, it was.)
Tyra’s hair is not looking good. And I don’t like either of the dresses that the girls are wearing for their final panel. Saleisha is using horrible posture. Chantal sort of looks like Tinkerbell in the light blue, and her little blonde bun. Both of their lips are shiny - probably thanks to CG Wetslicks fruit spritzers, huh?
Panel discusses!
Chantal x Saleisha x Chantal x Saleisha x Chantal x Saleisha x Chantal x Saleisha
Ehhhhh. Usually I care what they’re saying, but not this time. This finale is one of the worst.
Saleisha is the winner. Ehhhhhhh.
Could. Not. Care. Less.
Her hair looks like a mushroom.
At least she will have some easy stand-ins. Look, you won’t even notice the difference:
Here, buy some stuff and ease your pain:
America’s Next Top Model - Cycle 1
Supermodels’ Beauty Secrets: Hot Tips for Style, Beauty and Fashion from the Worlds Top Models
Zoolander (Special Collector’s Edition)
Want more info? Check out Sirlinksalot.com: America’s Next Top Model
About the Author: Your above-average sweet, smart, and snarky Girl Friday. Impeccable taste. Analytical. Liberal. Friend to animals. Always found in cute shoes. Check the Sofachip 'About' page for more (classified!) info.
professor x | Dec 12, 2007 | Reply
add = addition, math
ad = advertisement
elyse still has an LJ — http://elysesewell.livejournal.com
JessicaRae | Dec 12, 2007 | Reply
hmm…well, i do mix up add/ad - but i’ve never mixed up to/too! …saleisha gave me this optimism. curses. i will fix that.
that’s cool, thanks for the link. i believe Elyse is my favorite person to ever be on ANTM, aside from Caridee.
iris | Dec 12, 2007 | Reply
Am glad that Seliesha won. Am sorry I had to read this non-unconstructive, poorly organized criticism to find out.
JessicaRae | Dec 12, 2007 | Reply
Iris, you are entitled to your opinion although I would think you would spell the winner’s name right if you like her - and since I put her name into this entry at least three times.
Anyway, as for the poorly organized structure of this entry, it’s this way because I wanted to update this as soon as I could, after the show ended, instead of waiting like I usually do.
I’ve written commentary like this before and people enjoyed it. It’s very stream-of-conscious-like, and that may not be enjoyed by everyone.
One thing I think we can agree on is that we’re all looking forward to the next cycle of ANTM.
cissy969 | Dec 13, 2007 | Reply
Happy Saleisha Won..She did not pick her hairstyle it was given to her like it or not…….As for Tyra.Love the millions that she is making and hope lol to the bank….love it
Greg | Dec 13, 2007 | Reply
Let’s face it ANTM is a JOKE. The show is nothing but that, a show. It is mean to entertain. Is it really about choosing America’s Next Top Model? HA. The show is making false promise to these girls. These girls will not amount to much. Let’s think of it…Of all the past winners, I can only think of two that have somewhat of a career. Eva and Nicole L. Season after season, I keep hoping that Tyra will change things and really bring girls who can have a modeling career. She has gotten a lot of heat from fashion magazines and designers about her show and her choice of girls. Some magazines and designers have even refused to work with the girls.
Every season, she votes off the girl who really can model. STOP making it a personality competition. No one cares for her personality. All they care about is the girl taking good pictures.
I cant stand the show but it is an entertaining one nonetheless
JessicaRae | Dec 13, 2007 | Reply
Cissy - I know that she didn’t pick her hairstyle. It’s Tyra’s fault for picking that.
But this whole thing looked rigged. Saleisha was picked off of Myspace and asked to join the competition, had previous modeling experience (which you’re not allowed to have to compete), was always favored by Tyra and the panel…etc.
And yes, Tyra is very rich. I wish she were buying me Christmas presents!
JessicaRae | Dec 14, 2007 | Reply
Greg, well, there is a lot of truth in what you’re saying. It is a show, meant to entertain. It’s not all about seriousness. But it is also an industry, and they want to make money. Think of other reality shows - like Project Runway - they want their winners to go on and make the show proud. on American Idol some winners like, Kelly Clarkson, have done very well.
I do think that girls on ANTM who get into the top three, but don’t win - will actually have a better career than the girl who wins. So it’s a blessing in disguise! Because lots of people in the industry probably see it as a joke, or think it was made far too easy for them.
I think Tyra has a problem in that she insists on finding a model that can do Haute Couture and commercial stuff - a girl who can do runway, and also do a beauty ad for CG. With experience, models can do that. But I don’t think many models right off the bat can do this. It may be better to look for one type of model - but of course, that would cut the viewing audience in half, so they’d never do that.