The 2008 SAG Red Carpet: An Interactive “Where’s Waldo?”

The 14th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards were last night. In the post below, my fellow Sofachip writer wrote about the serious side of the event. Therefore, I’m going to gossip about the red carpet interviews and clothes. Why? Because I’m a girl. And I enjoy being a girl. And I also feel the obsessive need to mock the Desperate Housewives. Can you stop with the interrogation now and let me get on with it? Geez!

People were milling around the red carpet with their escorts and bodyguards, while the press tried to grab onto anyone who’d been on the cover of a magazine in the past year.There were some great dress choices - with an emphasis on white sparkly numbers, and the color yellow.

Ana Ortiz of Ugly Betty couldn’t walk up steps in her dress, and had to hop sideways. That was entertaining. Though she did it with a sweet smile, I can’t help but wonder why she would pick that impracticable dress? Oh wait. It’s Hollywood. Nevermind…

Ausiello of TVguide.com caught up with Becki Newton of Ugly Betty. She was eager to sing a bit of the song from the Ugly Betty finale (which I wrote about here), and even got Ausiello to reluctantly sing a bit. Becki has a sarcastic sense of humor, but easily navigates her way through interviews with gracious answers when she needs to.But then she’s right back to hilarious comments. As for what she’s been doing during the strike, she said, “A lot of family time, a lot of cooking, a lot of hanging out.” She had her blonde hair down - curled in waves, and was wearing a white/silvery sparkly gown.

Also on the red carpet was the annoying Lisa Rinna. She took a stab at interviewing Tina Fey (pictured right). Tina is cooler than most people, so it goes without saying that she’s cooler than Lisa. Tina won for outstanding actress in a comedy series for 30 Rock. When asked where she was going to put her trophy, she said: “Up high, where my daughter can’t get it – because this thing is a baby-crusher.”

I was going to comment on Lisa interviewing Eva Longoria, but honestly it was too boring to watch. And don’t people get tired of flattering each other in such grossly fake ways? Compliments are fine, but when they’re so insincere and exaggerated it just feels cheap. (Like your coat, where’d you get that thing? Oh, I’m just kidding, I haven’t had anything to eat yet so I’m grumpy. Can we get omelets around the corner? You pay? I gave my wallet to a puppy.)

This is how too many of the fake conversations go (they’re practically scripted):

Notes: My subtext became text along the way. Oops?/ Beware, you’re about to enter a snarky zone.

Interviewer: Hi, you’re amazing!

Actor/Actress: Thanks, so are you!

Interviewer: Oh, you are so nice. But really, I love you. You’re my single favorite actor/actress out of all the other 300 ones here.

Actor/Actress: Thanks. (Subtext: I don’t even know who you are, are you famous? I’ll just nod and pretend that I do cause you’re acting like you’re important.)

Interviewer: So, who are you wearing?

Actor/Actress: Oh, blib-a-blah. I really like what they’re doing with their new line. It’s all made from mud. You just wear mud. It’s amazing. I feel so amazing. And green. I mean, you know, helping the earth? It’s like a calling. I just feel so much more spiritual in these clothes.

Interviewer: Wow. That’s so cool. I can’t wait to try some. Is it supposed to be exposing your left nipple like that?

Actor/Actress: Oh, probably. *Giggle* Can I go now, I want to be seen talking to a more important person.

Interviewer: Sure, go on, you’re fabulous! Fabulous. Now, have you seen that actress from that show about the cheating Amish husband? Heavyset Love?

Lisa also interviewed John Krasinki from The Office. He looked dashing in his Prada suit, which he said took ‘three minutes’ to put on. He had to struggle to look away from the inappropriate massive (orange) cleavage that Lisa was sporting. (Lisa, look up the word tasteful? Please.) Not because he wanted to see it, but mostly because it was so ‘in his face’. Lisa accidentally said that he had two nominations, when he only had one. Ouch.

How did he recover? By punching her out? Sadly, no. He’s too nice for that. He pulled it off nicely, not making her feel bad at all. And I’ll admit - it has to be hard to remember all of the facts when you’re interviewing someone. (Unless they give you cue cards, do they do that? Can they be neon?)

John is funny enough that if he did a reality TV show, I’d watch it even if all he did was talk about corn.

Joey Fatone asked Nicolette Sheridan (of Desperate Housewives) about her aspirations about being a ballerina, and they both said the phrase ‘bloody toes.’ Nicolette is way too old to be a ballerina, is there nothing else you can ask her?

Jenna Fischer (pictured right) was interviewed by Lisa and Joey Fatone. She was wearing a stunning jeweled blue Collette Dinnigan dress with a criss-cross halter neckline. She actually went on to say she picked the dress because she liked the interesting neckline. Jenna is a funny gal, and I’m probably not the first to wish that her and Office co-star, John Krasinksi, were dating offscreen.

Marcia Cross (of Desperate Housewives) is enjoyable and pleasant, but not too interesting. Also, why does she look so fake? I mean, she’s pretty - and I love her hair color, but she looks fake. Teri Hatcher of the same show also always looks like her face is plastic and unmovable. It’s eerie. How can you be an actress and not emote? Is it more important to think you look good, than to use talent?

Actor B.J. Novak of The Office

He is?:

A) Made of win

B) Funny x 10

C) A HotMuffin (new phrase I just invented)

Answer: All of the above.

“I was actually up for best stud and I lost out … but there’s always next year, right?” - Novak

Until I can get the scary images of Teri Hatcher out of my mind,

Jessica for Sofachip.com

Pictures from People.com