“The Office” Might Make Monday in Your Office More Bearable
What you guys need to read on Monday is something inspiring to keep you awake past noon. Lots of people work in an office, but they don’t have as much fun as the people on NBC’s The Office. But I can still bring the fun to you.
What I’ve done is gone to the wonderful website overheardintheoffice.com (not affiliated with the show) and find snippets posted that I think could have been heard on the show. Keep in mind that all of these are real comments heard from someone in an office. Naturally, the script writers for The Office can do better, but since we don’t have a new episode to watch yet, this will have to do!
I collected the quotes from about a week ago, so now I’m challenging you to go look at the recent entries and see if you can find quotes you think would fit in with this list.
The below quote made me envision a scene between Ryan and Michael. Michael wouldn’t be taking things seriously, and he would be trying to answer the question from Ryan, but be preoccupied with a bagel, or something.
Sales guy: Is the old copy machine face-up or face-down? (RYAN)
Office manager: Face… up. No, face-down. Eh, just try it both ways. (MICHAEL)
This quote made me think of something Kelly might say. I’m not sure if they’ve established if she’s an American Idol fan, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she is.
Wishful thinking peon on phone: Yes, I can meet with this Simon guy. It’s not that Simon from American Idol, is it? Oh? That’s too bad… I guess I’ll still meet with him, though. (KELLY)
Dwight may not be the boss, but he certainly acts like one at times. After all, he is assistant to the regional manager. He’d probably like me to capitalize all that, huh? Heh! I love Jim/Dwight moments. They’re so tender. *Sigh* — I mean, funny.
Boss: You have to clean your work space. It’s a mess. (DWIGHT)
Worker: The space is clear. It’s only my desk that’s a mess. (JIM)
Okay, I don’t know why Jim would be giving a seminar on health and talking about urine, but it’s possible. The last sentence in this grouping is why this has to be Jim saying this and not Toby.
Employee #1, giving presentation: You can’t get HIV from urine. Urine is actually sterile. (JIM)
Employee #2: Blood is sterile! (MICHAEL)
Employee #1: Ummm, I’m pretty sure it’s not. (JIM)
Employee #2: No, blood is sterile. (MICHAEL)
Employee #3: How can blood be sterile? What about hepatitis? (PHYLLIS)
Employee #2: Well, I mean, it’s sterile to you when it’s inside of you. (MICHAEL)
Employee #1: Okay, everybody, blood is sterile… unless it’s full of HIV. (JIM)
This reminds me of a discussion between Pam and Michael. This works especially well since Pam is interested in art. Of course, I would never call Pam an ‘underling’. At the end, I think she’d ask that last sentence to the camera. She’d want to be assured someone else was witnessing the craziness that is her life.
Boss: Hey, can you make a calendar that looks like this? [Hands a paper to her.] (MICHAEL)
Underling: Yeah. You know this is from [the other agency], right? (PAM)
Boss: Yeah, the client likes it. We have to go with that. (MICHAEL)
Underling: But their calendar is a copy of the one I did for the client. The client just handed it to them, and they made all these little changes. (PAM)
Boss: Yeah, just do it like that. (MICHAEL)
Underling: But I already did it. They only took my calendar and messed with it. (PAM)
Boss: Just make it look like this one! (MICHAEL)
Underling: But it’s my calendar! (PAM)
Boss: Just make it look like this one! [Boss stalks off.] (MICHAEL)
Underling, to entire office: Am I in a Dilbert cartoon? (PAM)
Well, I’m not going to explain this one. 
Programmer returning from extended bathroom break: You know, I don’t want to include too much information, but my pants fit much better now. (KEVIN)
Stanley is sarcastic, and that is his charm.
Voice on phone: Hi. I just wanted to ask if you’re open today?
Employee: No, we’re not. I just thought it would be fun to come over here on my free day. That it? (STANLEY)
One more Michael quote for good measure…you can picture him saying this pretty much anywhere, anytime. I don’t think he’d be embarrassed. He likes to liven things up, you know?
Boss, interrupting serious discussion on Risk Management: I’m feeling frisky! (MICHAEL)
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For more: Sirlinksalot : The Office
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About the Author: Your above-average sweet, smart, and snarky Girl Friday. Impeccable taste. Analytical. Liberal. Friend to animals. Always found in cute shoes.
