The Miley Cyrus Fiasco is Actually a Genius Plan
So, I know you are ALL WAITING to hear what I, Jessica Rae, have to say about this Miley Cyrus fiasco. Hmm… QUESTION: Is it really a fiasco for her? I think this is a very carefully laid-out plan! I don’t know if you can understand the genius of this plan, so I will lay it out for you:
1.) Pose with the allusion of nudity. Sex sells.
2.) Leak info about the shoot. Peek the interest of everyone. You’re on everyone’s radar.
3.) Show the pictures. Suddenly, you’ve gotten a lot of people interested in you who don’t even know who Hannah Montana is. (Con: This probably includes lots of pervy old men. Them’s the breaks, Miley.)
4.) Reveal the photos that show that you were in no way actually naked and you are just an innocent, helpless girl. This has all of your old Disney fans, and people like Jamie Lee Curtis, defending your honor. Faith in you has been redeemed, you were tricked by the evil photographer Annie Leibovitz! In fact, they gave you something strange to drink before you went on set… blame everyone and anyone you can. PLAY. THE. VICTIM. (She certainly looks like some tortured victim of a horror movie in the photo. I guess that was supposed to show that she has depth and range, or something. It really doesn’t.)
Admit it - you’ve been hearing about this everywhere - EVERYWHERE. I bet even your Grandma has asked you about it. Sometimes there’s no such thing as bad publicity. As for me? I am only mentioning it to show you the evil conspiracy.
(I may or may not be joking about this.)
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About the Author: Your above-average sweet, smart, and snarky Girl Friday. Impeccable taste. Analytical. Liberal. Friend to animals. Always found in cute shoes.
Brittany | Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
So true. And I don’t know, but to me, she looks like a 15 year old. Not a 15 year old that looks like a 25 year old. More like a 15 year old that looks about 13. Well, she did until the frazzled hair, the smeared lipstick, and the faux nakedness. Hmm, what WERE they going for there?
Jessica Rae | Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
I don’t want to say it…but ‘torture porn’ movies are very big right now. Maybe that was the inspiration. > : O
Dale | Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
It’s “pique”, not “peek”.
But yes, I think you are spot on with the Evil Genius theory. I would never have known about this nor seen the photo if not for the hysterical attention it’s been given. Vanity Fair, Miley Cyrus, Billy Ray Cyrus, Annie Liebowitz, AND Disney Corp. have all gotten tons of free advertising for this.
Otherwise it makes no sense. How can you be in a photo shoot and have everybody agree on photos to be in a PRINTED magazine, which takes time to set up and print, and then have everyone feign ignorance of the effects it was going to have?
I’d rather it weren’t such a big deal though. We need to be able to enjoy the beauty inherent in our bodies without people thinking we’re pervs.
David Boring | Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
…and perhaps you mean the “illusion” of nudity? I suppose you could be alluding to nudity, but it makes more sense that you mean that the nudity was illusory.
Anyhoo. Of freakin’ course this was carefully planned. This girl’s every act is meticulously crafted by Disney Imagineers.(tm)
Ali | Apr 29, 2008 | Reply
This whole thing is so sickening. Disney is such a joke. A huge EVIL money grabbing joke. If *anyone* believes that girl had NO IDEA the photos would turn out like that, they need their head read. Annie Liebowitz is a a wonderful photographer - plus she shows everyone the photos -immediately- after she takes them (she takes them digitally) - so this whole ‘i am so embarrassed’ thing is utter bullshit. gah! I agree Jessica - it’s probably one huge evil conspiracy to make more $$$$
Gina | Apr 30, 2008 | Reply
I honestly think that Miley didn’t know it would go THIS far. I think she’s not embarrassed about the pictures more than she was embarrassed at the “outrage” taht has occured from it, which I think it stupid.
It’s VANITY FAIR. If your kids are reading it, Miley in a blanket isn’t the worst thing they’ll be seeing.
In fact, because society is such a big pot of media whores, they posted the pics on places outside of Vanity Fair readers. I honestly don’t think many of the Hannah Montanna fans would’ve seen these pics if it wasn’t on your evening or morning news.
Besides, Jessica Biel did something way worse when she 17. She posed nude (tho the finished results were left to the imagination) for Maxim mag with her dad at the shoot. No, she’s not a Disney folk, but her show at the time would’ve fit right in. And funny thing about her is, we haven’t really seen anything racy since then… I don’t know, I’m not a big Biel fan so I could be wrong.
Jessica Rae | Apr 30, 2008 | Reply
Pique, and illusion. Yes. Thank you to Dale and David. (David, why do you call yourself boring?) That is not a good superhero name!
Dale - You make a good point. I think we should appreciate artistic photos of bodies. I think the main issue, for most, is that she’s only 15.
Ali - You are so right to point that out about Annie and the way she takes photos. Grah!
Gina - I see what you are coming from. Sometimes we do things and we think they won’t be a big deal - and then when it blows up we have regrets. Although, even if Hannah Montana fans wouldn’t read Vanity Fair normally - some might have sought it out to see their idol. So that would be the parents job to keep it away from them. But should a 15 year old girl be in the magazine taking those photos? I think she’s still a little too young to know if she really wanted those photos done. It might have seemed like a good idea then, but it didn’t even take a couple years before she was having those regrets.
The Jessica Biel thing is interesting - Biel did that purposefully so that she would get out of her contract and to get off the show. I think she was desperate.
Gina | Apr 30, 2008 | Reply
How do you feel about that extra media blitz about the pics with Miley and her dad being “more than it seems”? (Again, my whole point about things being blown out of proportion.)
And a lot of good it did for Biel… didn’t it take her another three years before she was out?
Jessica Rae | Apr 30, 2008 | Reply
Well, when I saw the picture of them laying against each other, I did think it was a little weird. But this was in the context of just having seen the one of her with a sheet. I can’t imagine many Dad’s being okay with their daughters doing that, especially while they’re there. I think the picture of her and her father is harmless unless you want to make something out of it. And people do, of course. Some celebs can’t even go without makeup without someone going wild over it. I never want to be like that. Unless, without makeup, they have a green face. That’d be weird.
Biel…I don’t know. And then I think she came back to the show in the last year, or something. I don’t know. LoL. I never liked 7th Heaven. I mean, I think I thought it was kind of interesting when I was 17, but I wasn’t a big fan. And then I was just annoyed by it. They canceled it and brought it back - that just isn’t fair! Why does 7th Heaven get 76 years on the air and our poor Veronica Mars could only get 3?
becca | Jun 22, 2008 | Reply
omg i soo agree with you! i don/t like hate miley but i don’t like her either and what you said makes total sense to me!
Jessica Rae | Jun 23, 2008 | Reply
Miley is…who knows. She’s doing odd things! Thanks for your comment, Becca. Hope to see you around Sofachip again!