The Latest from America’s Next Top Model: “I Want Them to be Dumb!”

“I want them to be dumb!” That’s a nice soundbite from the latest episode of America’s Next Top Model. It was said by the new judge, Paulina Porizkova. She was being cheeky, but there’s truth in her statement.

How did this quote come about? Since it’s a guilty pleasure show and I was watching, I can tell you. Tyra was talking about how Katarzyna doesn’t let her eyes flirt with the camera. (Tip: Next time you take a picture, flirt with the camera and see how it looks. But don’t do this if the person behind the camera is your creepy Uncle Bob.) The judges pointed out that they can always see Katarzyna thinking and over-analyzing her moves, and it shows in the pictures she takes. Which doesn’t make for a stunning photograph. Hmm…I wonder how the compulsive, analytical thinker, Angela Chase (Claire Danes on My So-Called Life), ever took a good photo.

Their theory is that if a model is thinking, she won’t get any good photos. Ergo, they should be dumb. Of course, the alternative, which they’ve suggested to many girls, is that they should be thinking and have some thought in their eyes so it reads on the film. Just don’t be thinking something that makes you look worried (vent that out in therapy). You have to have inspiration to draw upon. Don’t let anyone see how hard you’re working in your head. With practice, things will come more naturally to you. And please, don’t ask me why I’m rattling off modeling advice. Listen, I’m not going to work with you until you learn to start smiling with your eyes! And can you even walk, or do you think glomping like a robot down a runway is going to be a new trend? *Throws champagne flute, stomps away*

As for the show – Katarzyna was eliminated. Whitney was saved. Anya had better win this thing. Anyone else know that her last name is Kop? Anya Kop! That is such a fun name. She should win just for that.

For more: America’s Next Top Model: Sirlinksalot.net

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