The Olsen Twins Annoy My Eyes

Oh, Olsen twins – I have so many extensive problems with this picture of you two. Where do I even start? I think it’s Mary-Kate on the left, even though it’s usually Ashley with the blonder hair.

Mary-Kate, now you know that we’ve already talked about having you dress better. I was serious about that. But you haven’t listened. I’m sad to see you and your sister both so thin, and I know there are some serious issues there. But this golden dress hangs on you so poorly, it feels like you’re about to slip out of it. You hang your hair in front of you, and you hunch your shoulders – I’m thinking you don’t want to be there. And if you don’t, then why are you? You’re young and free in America, enjoy life and wear pretty dresses!

Ashley, the Diane von Furstenberg dress seems interesting, and yet I find myself thinking it’s like any ol’ black dress. A few cut-outs just doesn’t do it. Some earrings would have helped this look. Your hair looks almost as hopelessly ratty as your twin’s, and I’m not sure why your eyebrows look so dark. You have no color on your face – that is problematic. Why not a bold red lip, or pink cheeks, anything? Mary-Kate looks ghost-like, but it almost works on her. Maybe this is just a bad picture, but it looks like you’ve got a bad dye job, and that you smeared on some cheapo foundation right after having to play a sweaty game of dodge ball in a high school gym class.

Can we have an intervention now?

This picture is from People.com

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