Making The Office More Feasible with Hello Kitty

How was your Memorial day? No, wait. I don’t care! I’m too busy recovering from mine where I ate canapes on a yacht while chatting with Gwyneth and Angelina.

Moving on, I came across a highly disturbing and mentally distressing post on Videogum.com. The writer, Gabe, states why he thinks The Office isn’t realistic. This argument centers on the idea of how a documentary crew could get away with filming all of this, and none of the people on ‘the show’ would ever get annoyed at being exploited like that. (Then again, don’t people often look like idiots on reality TV shows?) That’s fair enough. It you want to play it boring!

We do have to suspend belief for certain shows. But we can also help our shows along. I asked myself: How could it make sense? I channeled my wonky inner-genius and decided that the documentary crew could have told everyone they were filming that they had to get X amount of footage before they aired the show. Normally a reality show only films, at most, one season in advance (and probably not even that). So as for why four seasons would need to be aired, well…Sshhhhut it! Now, meanwhile, the show actually would be airing, but only in Japan.

This would give us a wonderful episode where Michael Scott would go on vacation to Japan and he’s treated royally, like a celebrity. He’d be signing autographs, and people would actually laugh ‘at his jokes’ (read: at him). He’d come back announcing how wonderful Japanese people and their culture are. The next party they have would have a Hello Kitty theme! People could wear California Roll bracelets, Mini Sushi bracelets, and Geisha Girl rings. Sounds yummy and fun. (Can you believe I’ve only had Sushi a couple times? Augh!)

I got a peek at Michael’s monitor and you’ll be crazy-surprised to see what was on there. Click after the jump and scroll down to see.

Now, I believe some of you want some answers to recent trivia.

I recently gave you all a challenge to guess what movie I was talking about based on TV actors/actresses that I described in a round-about way. Now it’s time to reveal the results! (I won’t judge you, but Kristen Bell will. But don’t worry, I’m pretty sure the powers she has as Elle Bishop on Heroes aren’t real. Pretty sure….)

1. Courtney Cox! She was in the beloved cult NBC comedy, Friends. Ross and Rachel forev’s! She is now on Dirt, playing Lucy Spiller. I’ve never seen that show, but I’ve seen every episodes of Friends – like, ten times.

2. Omar Epps! He is on House M.D.! Oh, Eric Foreman, how you annoy me so! Claire Danes was in The Mod Squad movie remake with him. Jesse Spencer plays Chase, an Aussie on House.

3. Portia de Rossi! She is marrying Ellen Degeneres. She was on Ally McBeal and Arrested Development. Both of those shows were great. Now I’m sad. But there’s going to be an Arrested Development movie, I believe. Hope prevails!

4. Neve Campbell! She was on Party of Five playing angsty Julia Salinger. She was also in the movie Wild Things with Denise Richards. (To whom I will never speak, cause – ew.) She was also in the musical Reefer Madness. Matthew Fox (Jack on Lost) played Charlie Salinger, her older brother, on Party of Five.

The movie is… Scream 2! But you already knew that, right? Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy) was in it, as was Heather Graham, Joshua Jackson, David Arquette, Jada Pinkett Smith, Jamie Kennedy, Jerry O’Connell, Rebecca Gayheart (she married that McSteamy guy on Grey’s Anatomy), Marisol Nichols, Laurie Metcalf, Elise Neal, Tori Spelling, and someone named Cornelia Kiss. She isn’t famous, I just think she has a weird name.

Matthew Lillard had a cameo in this movie, during the sorority party. He, of course, played Stu Macher, one of the original killers in Scream (alongside Skeet Ulrich of Jericho). I had the most massive crush on Matthew Lillard during my teenage years. It was also rumored that Rose McGowan (Tatum Riley in Scream) had a cameo in the movie, in the beginning movie theater scenes. But that is not her. Geez, you crush a character in a garage door and they can’t come back from the dead? What is this world coming to?!

Michael Scott’s Monitor:

“It’s about the day we had at the beach. Toby wasn’t there but I think he’d told Pam to run through hot coals. What a stupid idea. Luckily I Was there with a bucket of water to save her. We found a crab and I cried in her arms about the beauty of life. It was a glorious day…” – Michael’s personal journal (Fake!)

Create your own picture here.

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