Searching for Vampires on Craigslist? Try Again

The bold text you’ll find peppered below are my comments interjected into a random Craigslist.org ad. Yes, even I succomb to boredom-induced acts of Craigslist surfing. (I have yet to find a funny boy like John Krasinski, though. Alas!) I have MiSTed this ad! (It’s also known as MSTing.) This term is based from the show Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3k).  The show is about uh, well - aliens, and a guy, who mock really bad movies. It’s amazing. Still confused? Check out the Wikipedia.)

As for this CL.org ad, I can only imagine this is what Buffy or Willow (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) would have thought if they’d come across this. Although, admittedly, Willow is more likely the one to go online and find something like this by accident. Perhaps while she was writing some Doogie Houser fanfic? I like to think she’d share this with Buffy and they’d get a good laugh from it. They both know that being a vampire can, well, seriously suck.

The Internet is really a slacky and lazy means of searching down an immortal soul!

Looking for a REAL vampire - m4w - 26 (Suburbia, USA) ‘Cause so many vampires spend their time on craigslist? And hey - it’s only M4F. Not only does he want to be turned, he wants it to be foreplay.
Reply to: XXXXXXXXXX
Date: 2008-0X-0X, 3:20PM EDT

OK, so no one can convince me that there’s no such things as vampires. Fair enough, no one is even arguing with you, yet. Don’t get snippy! I am looking for a real vampire. Have you tried a graveyard? The Internet is really a slacky and lazy means of searching down an immortal soul! I want to be bitten. Maybe you could warm up with kinky sexy first? I’m tired of my dragging life I’m not sure that technically makes sense, but I get what you mean… and there’s got to be more fun than this. Have you been to Disney World yet? I hear wonderful things about it in the Spring. I want to be considered beautiful. Considered beautiful, or actually beautiful? There’s a difference. Self-delusion can take you far! We could  have you feel considered beautiful for just the low, low price of four payments of $50.00.

I want to be strong. You could always work out and build some muscle tone. I want to be fast. Try running? But no, okay, I get it - you want superpowers of a specific sort. Lots of people do. I want a long and ever lasting life. I thought your life was ‘dragging’? Why do you want a long life? I guess you mean a long life as a vampire. But you should be specific! If anyone can help me, let me know and I’ll leave the door unlocked for you. Most lore says you need to invite a vampire inside. Also, they’d be fine coming in a window, just - FYI.

* Location: Suburbia, USA
* it’s ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests < Why is this checked? Do you think there are people going to contact you with a Vampire-turning service?

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