The Jonas Brothers: 70’s Porn Hair Has Never Been So Insulted
“Okay, am I the only one who doesn’t get the whole Jonas Brothers thing? Why are people falling all over themselves about them? One looks very much like a mole and the other has 70’s porn hair!!! The other is fairly attractive, yes, but what’s with those damn skinny jeans that they wear ALL THE TIME?!” – Brittany, my personal adviser and all-around amazing friend.
I am really glad that someone finally said it. It’s like Hanson for 2008, except without the good MMMbop song! I see these guys everywhere, but have never heard them. I think that I heard that they tour with Miley Cyrus, which already is deducting points to their credibility. I think it’s grand for tweens to have stuff they love, but, uh, just keep it away from me. I looked up their picture so I can better identify them. Voila:
The Jonas Brothers
And here is another picture:
The Jonas Brothers
Do you notice a theme? Fog? Kind of a lot of it? Yea. What is up with that? Why is there so much fog in all of the Jonas Brothers pictures? Does this lend them mystique? I think not. FAIL.
Edit: And then I found this link that says (and shows) that they’ve already got their own Madam Tussad’s wax figures. ALREADY? They’re still embryos! How can they be worthy? Society, WTF?
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About the Author: Your above-average sweet, smart, and snarky Girl Friday. Impeccable taste. Analytical. Liberal. Friend to animals. Always found in cute shoes. Check the Sofachip 'About' page for more (classified!) info.
Brittany | Aug 21, 2008 | Reply
You know why that have all that fog all the time? So they can hide the fact that they dress like my dad did in 1974.
Jessica Rae | Aug 21, 2008 | Reply
Their stylists are probably trying to make them unique. It’s working. Just not in a good way.
Holly | Aug 21, 2008 | Reply
Hee hee I think the two curly haired ones look like John C Reilly’s kids.
Ali | Aug 21, 2008 | Reply
I’m with you guys. They’re the saddest bunch I’ve seen in quite a while. They’re full of fail and lolz. I have NO idea what their music is like but I suspect it’s crap.
Also – aren’t they the guys who took a chastity or purity vow or something like that? Why wear those uber tight skinny jeans if u’re not looking to get laid. Juz sayin.
btw Jess – love the new layout/colors ^.^
Jessica Rae | Aug 21, 2008 | Reply
Thank you so much, Ali! It warms the very cockles of my soulless heart.
*Silly* I did read something about the Jonas Brothers + virgins, but I don’t know the whole story. Tight pants are in for GIRLS, and maybe gay guys, but straight boys? It’s a little odd. And by a little, I mean a lot. A lot odd. Ooodles of oddness.
Re: They might say they’re virgins / Britney Spears also swore up and down that she was a virgin until Justin Timberlake outed her. (Which was cruel of him to do, no matter if she was lying.)
Jessica Rae | Aug 21, 2008 | Reply
Holly – That’s eerily easy to picture. Yikes. There may be a Hollywood conspiracy at work! (P.S. I love your blog and may marry it.)
Holly | Aug 21, 2008 | Reply
OMG thank you so much Jessica Rae! I commented here because I thought your entry was funny! Let’s do lunch! Oh, wait, can’t
Exchange links? Let me know, I like your sense of humor!
Jessica Rae | Aug 22, 2008 | Reply
Holly, let’s do it. I’ll get your link up asap-y. I see that you, too, also want to set Sienna Miller on fire (people – it’s a joke) so we are truly blog soul mates.
Taylor Blue | Aug 22, 2008 | Reply
I go away for a couple of days and you totally change the place.. LOL…I love the look here..it’s blue too my favorite!
I can’t believe they have wax figures already! How long have they been on the scene? 6 months? I should have had 10 wax figures by now then! LOL
Taylor Blue | Aug 22, 2008 | Reply
Speaking of links…I thought mine was on the side.
Holly | Aug 22, 2008 | Reply
You’re up! Check it!
Ali | Aug 22, 2008 | Reply
lol!@Oodles of oddness
I’m happy to have warmed the cockles of your heart. *doesn’t care how odd that sounds* lol!
I concur. TimberFail outing Britney was low. I can’t stand the guy and his whiny voice anyway – but yeah – that was low.
I feel I should have a 2nd name now. Jessica Rae and Taylor Blue sounds so cool. Mum calls me Alison Francoise sometimes – but it’s too pedestrian. pft. Email me if you think of something cool for me, k? ;p
Holly | Aug 22, 2008 | Reply
Oh and btw you’re on the blogroll, which is considerably better, because it posts your latest headline underneath the site name. I find that it draws more out clicks because people get interested in the headlines more so than just a link and a name.
Taylor Blue | Aug 22, 2008 | Reply
@Ali…I have put alot of thought into your problem…Here are some suggestions…
Ali G???
Ali Roberts?
Ali Jo???
Hmmm…that was hard thinking…
Jessica Rae | Aug 23, 2008 | Reply
Taylor – Hii. Your other link was up, but then when you changed domains I took it down. When you launched your new baby a couple days later I forgot to add that one. But I’m adding it now and I plan to bribe you with cupcakes. : ) How would I make a text cupcake? ~@|EI (Look at it sideways.)Art genius alert.
Ali – Is that because you like France or is that your middle name? Going off of what Taylor said, Ali Ro is cute, imho. I need more input though, as to what kind of second name you’d want. Kooky? Serious? Ali Broomshackle would be an unusual and memorable name, haha. I will e-mail you today! Or tomorrow, since I’m all slacky on Saturdays.
Holly – Thanks! That feature for the links is awesome and I am jealous, but I mask it reeeeeally well. *Drops spray paint can and flees scene*
Taylor Blue | Aug 23, 2008 | Reply
Jess…fabulous…I see it now.
And I had to turn the screen around both ways until I saw it…but real ones are good too. Luvs them both though.
Ali…I took my favorite name with my favorite color… could it work that way?
Ali | Aug 25, 2008 | Reply
@ Jessica – Francoise is indeed my middle name lol! One of three in fact. I like France b/c I’m half French, silly ;p Well – and also coz it rocks of course.
@Taylor – No – I don’t think it’d work – or it’d make us related lol! (I too love blue). My favorite name is Sinead – which might be hard to work with. Idk. Taylor Blue flows – Sinead whatever doesn’t really. Or is it me? (btw…love the name Taylor too
)
Hmmm Sinead Rae….
Taylor Blue | Aug 25, 2008 | Reply
@Ali-Hmmm…you have me thinking now…how about looking at some celebrity last names?
Ali Monk?
Sinead Monk?
Sinead Mayer?
Ali Mayer?
or even work the Ali to the last name too…
I played with my name forever before I found something I liked.
Ali | Aug 25, 2008 | Reply
@Taylor.
Monk? Hmm I think I’d just think of a religious monk with that. Mayer – meh. Do you like John Mayer per chance? ;p
Maybe I’ll go with something French – combine my heritages lol. Or with something cool – like Fox. Sinead Fox could work maybe lol!! Like you say -I’ll have to play around and see what I can come up with.
Thanks for your input <3
Taylor Blue | Aug 25, 2008 | Reply
@Ali…I like JOhn, and Jensen Ackles, and Milo Ventimiglia..the list goes on…LOL
wait I really like Alex O’Loughlin…
Ali O’Loughlin sounds like a dream!!
Holly | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
Hey Jessica Rae come check out the new WUD!
Ali | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
@Taylor – Alex was in Moonlight, right? Meh. David Boreanz was hotter ;p
I agree about Jensen tho. He’s lovely
I admit, Ali O’Loughlin has a certain ring…and Sinead O’Loughlin would make me hopelessly Irish lol!
Taylor Blue | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
Ali- Yes, Alex was in Moonlight..I fell head over heels for him on that show. And then it gets canceled. But Sinead O’Loughlin sounds awesome. ANd there is nothing wrong with being Irish…I’m part Irish too…
And I swear I’m gonna marry Jensen someday…he just doesn’t know it yet…LOL
Ali | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
@Taylor – I didn’t mean there was anything wrong with being Irish. I’m half Irish! so I’m cool with sounding Irish lol! My problem is that I just want something cool (like Taylor Blue) _and_ half Irish/half French – if it exists
Sinead de la Mer maybe. idk lol! Sinead le Bleu… ;p lol
I’d fight you for Jensen ;p
Taylor Blue | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
@Ali-you think Taylor Blue sounds cool? (that totally rhymes…LOL) you can take Blue if you want…you just can’t use it with Taylor…LOL
I am totally down with fighting you for Jensen…
Ali | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
Taylor – yes I do think your names sounds cool. VERY cool, in fact. Don’t you? *applauds your choice of name*
*fights you and wins*
Taylor Blue | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
@Ali…I never thought of it that way…but thanks.
And if you win you have to at least share..Jessica and I share!!
Ali | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
Taylor – you’re welcome
Ha! You gave in fast! But ok, sure. I’ll share. I’m nice that way ;p
Taylor Blue | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
@Ali-Well if you wanna fight…hey look…another good looking guy…(snags Jensen away from her..) Hee hee…
Ali | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
That’s a ploy that would actually work LOL!!!
Ok – you take Jensen – I’ll take Chad White ;D
Taylor Blue | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
Ali-it’s a deal then…and we can all be happy then…LOL
or is it Ali Blu??
Ali | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
Heh. OK!
And, I don’t know re: name. I have to keep thinking on it. But no matter what – you can call me Ali
Taylor Blue | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
It’s a deal!!
Jessica Rae | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
You two (Ali and Taylor) are crazily cute.
I’m glad I know you both. Life just wouldn’t be the same.
I do share my men! Mostly because it’s only fair, and I’d prefer to share in my delusional fantasies than be the only crazy fangirl
JK – I’m just nice.
P.S. You have to share Jensen. And I don’t hear anyone loving on John Krasinski – which is a shame. I guess I won’t have to share him
Taylor Blue | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
I know..I luv you too Jessica…
I guess I’ll have to share Milo with you too?? Man….it never ends…
Ali | Aug 26, 2008 | Reply
@Jessica – Awwww. Glad to know you too!
Who is John Kraisnski?
I won’t fight either of you for Milo. I do love brunette/brown eyed guys – but Milo irks me for some reason and I can’t quite place why. I think he looks a little smug or something…idk. *runs*
Jessica Rae | Aug 27, 2008 | Reply
Gaaaasp. Well, you probably only know the UK original version of The Office. But John is the cuuuute guy in the US version, aka Jim.
Here is a visual aid: http://l.yimg.com/img.tv.yahoo.com/tv/us/img/site/55/71/0000035571_20061027015757.jpg
Ali | Aug 27, 2008 | Reply
I actually only endured the pilot of the UK Office. All of us hated it so we never watched it (btw…the ‘: x’ face turns into a mad/angry smiley here. what’s up with that? pft) We love Extras tho – and I highly recommend it.
You can keep John. Honestly. *shoves him your way*
Taylor Blue | Aug 27, 2008 | Reply
OMG…You know my favorite episode of the Office was when John’s character put that guys cell phone in the ceiling so whenever it would ring it would drive him crazy. NOW that was funny. I watched that show for a couple of seasons but Steve’s character gets on my nerves.
Jessica Rae | Aug 27, 2008 | Reply
I love The Office! Psh. Ali – I am talking about the US one, I didn’t care for the UK one at all.
Ali | Aug 27, 2008 | Reply
Coincidentally, Sasha decided to give the UK Office another shot b/c we both love Extras so much. To her surprise, she enjoyed it way more the second time round and asked me to re-watch it too. And, to *my* surprise, I too enjoyed it the second time round!! O.o (this was tonight!)
So, now I like it LOL! : x I have never seen the US one though but I doubt I’d like it. I can’t stand Steve Carrell (I think that’s his name?) ugh.
Taylor Blue | Aug 27, 2008 | Reply
Ugghhh I couldn’t stand the one from England, I would rather sit and watch Steve Carrell recite his lines naked than that!
Ali | Aug 27, 2008 | Reply
Heh. I don’t know what to say, Taylor. This time yesterday I would’ve agreed with you re: the English version. Maybe you have to be in the mood for it, or something. idk *shrug*
Steve Carrell naked=*puke*
Taylor Blue | Aug 27, 2008 | Reply
I’m just showing how much I would not like to watch the one from England…and it’s something about their accents. I have to listen so hard it gives me a headache!
Ali | Aug 27, 2008 | Reply
Try it with subtitles then ;p
jk
Taylor Blue | Aug 27, 2008 | Reply
You know me so good…I used to have the subtitles on all the time on our old TV but our new one doesn’t have them now. Like you can’t put it on closed captioned. What am I to do? Guess watch Steve naked… LOL…
Ali | Aug 27, 2008 | Reply
LOL!!!!! Ewwwwwww *offers you blindfold*
Taylor Blue | Aug 27, 2008 | Reply
Thanks…I’m sure I’ll need that after the first five minutes! Or five seconds!
Ali | Aug 27, 2008 | Reply
No problem ^.^
Taylor Blue | Aug 27, 2008 | Reply
You saved me from a horrible fate!
Ali | Aug 27, 2008 | Reply
Heh – always happy to help!
adriana | Oct 19, 2008 | Reply
sorry to burst your bubble but i love kevin jonas
jonas brothers freak | Apr 5, 2009 | Reply
WHAT ?????? !
hannah | Jul 27, 2009 | Reply
i love the jonas brothers